I feel as if I was pushed out the the airplane.

I always intended on jumping, I just wanted to do it on my own terms.

But this is the most freeing and terrifying and happiest feeling all at once.

I will hit the ground sometime, but not today. Today I am in the clouds.

Yesterday my boss said “my heart wasn’t in camp” that’s a direct quote btws. I guess I am not as good as hiding my feelings as I thought. I had left early Tuesday, she was irate.

She said I had the option of bowing out from camp director and working front desk and child watch, if I didn’t think I could handle the responsibility.

Today I went in with the intention of clearing the air with my boss. I tried to tell her how stressed out I’ve been. How I feel like her whipping boy. How I’ve been jumping through hoops with no acknowledgement the things I have done right. She twisted my words to reflect poorly on me. I could tell she had already made up her mind. There was no changing it. She also said I was ‘rushing to leave yesterday’. I was rushing to leave because I was scheduled to get off at 5:30. I asked her at 5:15 of there was anything left to do, she said no. Then right at 5:30 she dumps a load of things for me to do.

So today I wasn’t given a choice and was ‘demoted’ to only working child watch. Which would give at a maximum 10 hours a week. She knows that I can’t afford to stay for that little of pay. No adult could live on 10 hours a week. I asked her ‘so basically my options are to work only 10 hours, which is impossible for me, or to quit’? She said yes. I feel like I am being forced to quit. She doesn’t have a justifiable reason to fire me, so she’s made it uncomfortable and almost impossible to work there.

I feel blindsided. I feel this demotion is unfair and unequal to whatever injustice my boss feels I’ve done. I took a seminar for the Y where they talked about company protocol when dealing with disciplinary situations. She is definitely skipping a bunch of steps. I am going to talk to the CEO tomorrow. She was apparently out of town meetings all day. I just got a hold of her a little bit ago to set up a meeting.

I don’t know what to do. I don’t even know if the CEO will be able/want to give me my position back. This couldn’t have happened at a worse time. Most summer jobs are filled already. I have less than $100 to my name. I need this job, but I can’t fathom working everyday with someone who so clearly doesn’t want me there.

Maybe my sister’s right. Maybe this a blessing in disguise. I have been complaining about working at the Y for months. They finally gave me an out. It was just 3 months and 3,000 dollars sooner than I planned.

Successful vacation in my eyes.